Depressed fathers can deeply affect their children’s behavior, confidence, and development.
Dads aren’t always the rock-solid, joke-cracking figures we see on TV or in ads. In real life, fathers deal with sadness and stress just like anyone else. What doesn’t get talked about enough is how deeply that sadness—when it turns into paternal depression—can affect their kids. A new study is pointing to some serious long-term effects on children when their fathers struggle with depression, especially in the early years of a child’s life.
Researchers at Rutgers Health looked at fathers who showed signs of paternal depression when their kids were starting kindergarten. Then, a few years later, they checked in to see how those same kids were doing in school. Teachers were asked about how those children were behaving and interacting with others by the time they were around nine years old. What the study found was pretty clear: kids whose dads were depressed when they were five were more likely to struggle later on. These children had a tougher time managing emotions, listening to instructions, and getting along with other kids. They were more likely to be restless, angry, and defiant. They also didn’t seem as confident or cooperative as their peers.
The study involved over 1,400 families and made sure to take into account other factors like the mother’s mental health and the family’s financial situation. Still, the connection between a father’s depression and a child’s later behavior remained strong. Most of the dads in the study lived with their children at least part of the time, which may have made the emotional impact even more direct.
What’s really striking is how few people are paying attention to depression in fathers. There’s been more discussion about moms’ mental health after childbirth, which is definitely important. But dads often get left out of the conversation. The truth is, when one parent is struggling, it can affect the entire home. Fathers who are depressed may not have the energy or patience to fully engage with their kids. They might pull away emotionally or struggle to handle the daily stresses of parenting. That tension can spill over into the rest of the household and shape a child’s development in ways that stick.
Some people still think dads need to “tough it out” or “man up,” but ignoring these problems doesn’t make them go away. In fact, pretending everything is fine can make things worse—for the dad and for the child. That’s why it’s so important for pediatricians and family doctors to talk to fathers, not just mothers, about how they’re doing emotionally. Kids do better when their parents are supported, and that includes dads. When depression is caught early, it’s possible to get help that works.
This study is a wake-up call. If we want children to thrive, we have to look at the full picture of their lives. That includes making sure both parents are mentally healthy and have access to support. Dads matter—not just for what they provide or protect, but for how they connect. And when they’re hurting, it’s okay to say something. Getting help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a way to build a better future—for everyone in the family.
Sources:
The lasting impact of paternal depression on children
Paternal Depression at Kindergarten Entry and Teacher-Reported Behavior at Age 9 Years
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